For the month of March, each day I am writing and posting a slice of my life, hosted by Two Writing Teachers.
Slice of Life #21 Challenge Day 7:
What I Know for Sure
Recently, the phenomenal Ruth Ayres shared a recent writing invitation:
I have been marinating these questions in my head for the past few days. I thought about writing about advice I've been given or sharing a list of things I love or penning a poem about beautiful surprises. I thought about sharing some of the lessons I learned during the time of COVID or what I learned about myself when I was going through my divorce. Yet, I kept talking myself out of those ideas.
A few years ago, as I was working through some heavy personal problems (with the help of a therapist, trusted friends, my pastor, and through my own messy writing), I learned this important lesson: I am only in control of my own thoughts, my own actions, and my own speech.
This has not been an easy lesson for me to learn. In fact, as a woman in my mid-forties, it is still a lesson that often needs reteaching. I gently need to keep reminding myself: no matter how fiercely I love someone or want a different outcome, I am only in charge of me.
In fact, I have had to make lists of what I have control over and what I do not have control over. Continually, I must remind myself:
- I can pray for someone.
- I can listen.
- I am help support someone.
- I can write about it.
- I can talk about it.
Ultimately, I am only in control of me. This applies to my relationships, my work with students, colleagues, and work load at school, and even parenting my own children.
I can live and strive to be my best self. I can be responsible for my actions, what I say, and how I show up. That's it. This is what I know for sure.
What do you know for sure? What do you know is true? What do you know by heart?
Today I’m joining an open community of writers over at Sharing Our Stories: Magic in a Blog. If you write (or want to write) just for the magic of it, consider this your invitation to join us.#sosmagic
We are in the same stage of life. And your concerns are similar to mine. Thanks for the post, I'm going to reflect on this important questions. I can say in advance that I kwon by heart several poems that always help me with my sorrows...
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by to read. There are poems that have also been a great help to me - especially a few Mary Oliver poems
DeleteYour fundamental belief is a wise one. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is a belief that I am trying to share with my own children and students I work with, too.
DeleteI needed to read this today: “I am only in control of my own thoughts, my own actions, and my own speech.” I’m having a bit of an attitude struggle today. I appreciate this reminder. What do I know is true? One thing is no matter how determined I am not to let this “thing” upset me, I still struggle. Peace.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you found this to be helpful. I still struggle, too.
DeleteBeautiful reflection, Trina - I missed writing with SOS this week, maybe I'll catch up next. Love this part on striving to be your best self: "I can be responsible for my actions, what I say, and how I show up." That IS true, and it is freeing; it causes some ugly stuff to melt away, making room for more air and light.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Fran! I am not sure if I cheated - combining two posts together! More room for air and light is always welcome!
DeleteI definitely needed this reminder this week, as these are lessons I am still learning!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you found it to be helpful. Thank you for stopping by!
DeleteWhat a beautiful slice of life! You are growing in wisdom and beauty. And sharing your reflections and journey helps others to as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Loralee! I have benefitted grately from others sharing their wisdom and stories with me.
DeleteI totally understand combining posts. I had a three-fer last week! I love how you shared what you've learned through your experiences. "Ultimately I am only in control of me." And kudos for writing to this prompt. I took one look at it and was scared away. Too deep for me!
ReplyDeleteA hard lesson to remember, but so important for your own being.
ReplyDeleteTrina,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are back to writing. Isn't it wonderful how writing always welcomes us back? What wise advice to know for-sure. :)
Ruth
PS -- Your descriptor of me made me chuckle. If only you knew this week I keep telling myself to just do the next thing, to take the next step...and I look at my puppy and imagine she is telling me: "You can do it...you can do it." I don't feel very phenomenal, but at the end of the day it seems to be phenomenal that it was lived well. ;)