Slice of Life #20 Challenge Day 3/31:
Going Through to Get Through
It had been a flurry of email exchange back and forth with a friend. At this time I realized that I had a hard time verbally talking with anyone about some personal issues, but for some reason, I could write about it.
In one of the emails, my friend responded with something like this, "You know that book about the kids going on a bear hunt? As they search for a bear they run into all kinds of obstacles, but they cannot go under or around it or over it. They just need to go through it. It's like that, Trina. You can't get through something until you go through it."
Later that evening, I dug out my eldest child's tattered copy of We're Going on a Bear Hunt and reread it. Michael Rosen's lines stayed with me,
"We can't go over it
We can't go under it
Oh no!
We've got to go through it!"
For the last four years, I've kept We're Going on a Bear Hunt on my nightstand, a reminder of some long ago advice - you can't get through something until you go through it. As much as I have wanted to bypass messy things in my life, I have found that not dealing with an obstacle can (and likely will) make it worse.
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| I recently replaced my son's tattered copy so I could read this without the pages falling off. |
Recently, I went through a divorce. Although it has been amicable and likely the best, healthiest long-term decision for everyone involved, it has still been challening and painful - impacting nearly every aspect in my life.
Yet, I am going through it. I am getting through it.
Yet, I am going through it. I am getting through it.
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You got this! If you're looking for another good read to remind you daily of "going through" things and, for lack of better term, "getting through" things, I highly suggest "Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul" by Melody Beattie. A friend bought it for me when I went through a hard break up, and she read it through her divorce. I'm on my third round of reading through it, simply because they are great daily passages to reflect on. You are strong and you will overcome anything!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I have that book. I need to dig into it again!
DeleteI appreciate you sharing your heart with us fellow slicers. Your sweet friend was right, and it's one of the hardest things to learn as a human. In order to rise up, we have to trudge through the mud to the jumping off point. Any and everything by Brene Brown is amazing during these times of perseverance- the gifts of imperfection was a life changing book for me, and I read it over and over. You are strong, capable, valued, seen, heard, loved and you are GETTING THROUGH IT.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I also love anything by Brene Brown - what an amazing teacher
DeleteI appreciate your post and your raw honesty about going through the hardest of times. I recently went through a permanent separation after more than 40 years of marriage. It was not amicable and has divided our family and caused the loss of cousins and uncles. I too have read and reread Journey to the Heart again and again during the hard days. Yet, perhaps the best advice comes from Michael Rosen! I've read the book many times but never saw the connection until now!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this touching comment. May you find peace in your situation. I think that these life decisions are just really hard, no matter how amicable.
DeleteNow there's some wisdom: you can't get through it until you go through it. As far as I can tell, even the most amicable of divorces are still painful - we have to change our vision of what we thought life would be like. Though I'm sorry for the difficulty, I am glad that you are going through it so that you can get through. And though I know it is a process, may you come to the end of this particular bear hunt sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteThank you. You are right - it is all about new normals!
DeleteHow apropos that on Read Across America day a children’s book offers such wisdom. I understand the impulse to go around, over, under, and avoid the through. It’s a natural desire. Trina, you are brave and strong. I so appreciate your vulnerability in this post, as well as your honesty. I am not that brave. I cannot put into the world my vulnerability or my pain. I know your words will strengthen others.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Some days I can be brave... Being vulnerable is so hard though.
DeleteI feel you, Trina, and appreciate your candor. Writing often opens doors when speaking fails us. Yes, going through, getting through, being through. A process. Warm wishes to you as you make your way onto new pathways.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Writing definitely opens doors when speaking fails us.
DeleteInteresting how a children's book can have just the line that helps you. I hope you have many sources of resilience during the challenging times.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I've found that sometimes a children's book is just as powerful (if not more) for adults to read.
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