Slice of Life Challenge: Cat Envy

"I am so jealous of the cats today. They have this wintering thing figured out," I remark.

"All I want to do is crawl back in bed," My teenage son replies. 

"Me too."

We both sigh. 

It's 7:30 on a chilly Wisconsin morning. The current temperature outside is -8 degrees Fahrenheit, not including the wind chill ranging from -20 to -30 degrees. I am freezing just thinking about getting into the car to head into school. 

My elderly cats have already burrowed in the fleece blanket on my queen bed. As usual, their bodies are nestled next to each other. Emma covers her petite face with her paws. I can distinctly hear Victor, my fourteen-year-old cranky domestic shorthair, loudly purring. As an over-active groomer, he has a soft, red sweater on to prevent him from further damaging his skin. My cats don't even pick up their heads as we turn off the lights and exit the bedroom. Their eyes are closed. Their tales are tucked in. They look so warm and comfortable. 

I yearn to crawl back into bed and snuggle in my warm covers, emerging when it is at least 20 degrees Fahrenheit outside. 

Instead, donned in wool socks, multiple layers of warm clothing, stocking hat and upcycled sweater mittens, I step outside to begin a new day.  

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Slice of Life Challenge: Navagating Change

Slice of Life Tuesday Challenge: Change 

To say that this has been a year of change would be an understatement. In this past year (not even considering COVID or distance learning), my life has looked radically different than in past years. Some major events included (but are not necessarily listed in order of importance):

• I moved out and rented a house. 
• I adjusted to longer periods of time on my own, without my children.
• I went through a divorce.
• I legally changed my last name.
• I started dating again.
• I rescued two older cats, who now live with me.
• I bought a house.

Looking back, it seems like every time I started getting a little bit comfortable with a new normal, some big change occurred. Some changes were positive and welcome. Yet, many changes were incredibly painful. I constantly felt paralyzed with fear and overcome with intense emotion. I wanted everything to be perfect, something so unattainable, even in the best of times. I wanted to hide any perceived weakness. Fellow readers, my life has felt really messy for most of this last year. All tangled in knots.

A few days ago I was journaling and suddenly realized that navagating change has been my constant this year. I reread some of my writing from this year with curiosity. It turns out that I learned a lot about myself. It turns out that I am stronger than I thought.  

Without a doubt, I will continue to navigate change this year. May I continue to learn from it and embrace it in the most positive way possible. 

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All writers are welcome!

Slice of Life: Finding my Path

Last September I left the house and neighborhood that I had lived in since 2001. Although I moved to a charming new-to-me neighborhood (less than one mile from my old house) and I still lived in the same city, I felt as if I moved into a whole new community. I didn't really know any neighbors. I didn't have a dog to walk anymore. When my kids were with me, they didn't necessarily want to venture outside. I didn't have a familiar walking route anymore.  

I felt lost. 

For at least the next two months, with the exception of taking my daughter Trick or Treating on Halloween, I only left my house for work, church, to run an errand, or to rake or shovel snow. Fall has always been my favorite season, but this year I found myself literally watching the season change from my window. 

I was lost.

Sometime in early December I decided that enough was enough. I missed not knowing the neighborhood I lived in. I missed being outside. Like it or not, I needed to make some changes. I needed to get back outside and walk. I've known this about myself for a long time - being outside is a great way for me to feel alive - no matter my mood or what's currently happening in my life. 

I needed to find my path again.

So I began small. Over the course of several days, I walked bits at a time - first venturing a block or two, then fifteen minutes. I explored different routes, and I found great delight. I even started catching sunsets again. Soon I was walking regularly and daily again - at least thirty minutes. 

This month I found myself waking early again, just to walk.

Walking outside had been my normal routine for years. It made sense that I needed to get back to out. Returning outside felt good for so many reasons. I met new neighbors and developed new friendships. I felt more comfortable living in my neighborhood. Perhaps most importantly, I began noticing my outdoor surroundings again. This stood out from this morning's walk: 

• the crunch of ice beneath my feet, 
• warm hues of sunrise, 
• birds flitting from feed to ground, searching for seeds,
• faint train whistles,
• owl hoots,
• and even the rustle of branches against my coat. 

Monday's sunrise

It turned out that seeking new paths brought me a lot of joy. 

Walking outside continues to heal my soul. 

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Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #31: Slice of Life Mash Up: Showing Up

For the last three years, I've intentionally spent time writing and sharing a Haiku-A-Day for the month of December. The first two years I exchanged a daily Haiku privately with willing friends, mostly through text and email. Last year I wrote and shared each Haiku on my blog. Throughout this process, I've discovered that the practice of noticing and reflecting through writing a Haiku grounds me, provides with with a certain kind of peace, assists me with better practicing gratitude, and helps me better navigate this "hurry up" world. This year my goal is the same as last year: to pen and publish a daily Haiku on my blog throughout December. 

Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #31: 
Slice of Life Mash Up:
Showing Up 

For the month of December I wrote and posted a daily Haiku. I am incredibly grateful for my friend and fellow Blogger, Glenda, who joined me in this daily challenge. I encourage you to read her thoughtful and smart Haiku and reflections (like this one). 

Throughout this month as I worked on this challenge, a bit of panic set in. I found that I perseverated on these questions: What would I write about? Who would read it? Who would care about what I wrote? Would I get judged about what I wrote about?

Often my thoughts occupied far more space than the time it took me to actually write and post. 

Most days, as I reached close to the end of the day, I reminded myself that I set this personal goal and needed to follow up. After a little personal pep talk, I set myself a timer of 15 minutes. Just show up Trina, I reminded myself. Then I wrote. I published. I didn't look back. 

Interestingly enough, I find that this process - worrying more about the action than actually completing the action- often describes me in life, not just as a writer. I worry more about the act of doing something than actually doing it. This just slows me down and can be unhealthy. 

Friends, I realize that I mostly need to focus on showing up as my best self, no matter the situation. 

In the end, I celebrate that I showed up as a writer for the month of December. For now, this is enough for me. 

Who will read? Who will/

judge? Anxiety hinders/

action.        Just show up. 

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Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #24: Slice of Life Mash-Up: Fog

For the last three years, I've intentionally spent time writing and sharing a Haiku-A-Day for the month of December. The first two years I exchanged a daily Haiku privately with willing friends, mostly through text and email. Last year I wrote and shared each Haiku on my blog. Throughout this process, I've discovered that the practice of noticing and reflecting through writing a Haiku grounds me, provides with with a certain kind of peace, assists me with better practicing gratitude, and helps me better navigate this "hurry up" world. This year my goal is the same as last year: to pen and publish a daily Haiku on my blog throughout December. 

Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #24: 
Slice of Life Mash Up:
Fog

On my drive home tonight, I was surprised to see the city blanketed in fog. There was no fog when I left Christmas Eve service, but a few hours later the sky is dense. Looming. 

Fortunately, Christmas lights strung throughout my community helped me navigate my way through city streets. Although these lights have been up since at least Thanksgiving, I am stunned at how much light Christmas lights emit into darkness. 

As I arrive home, I am reminded why we put up lights during this season. It is a reminder of hope and love for this world. 

Traveling through town./
Fog obscures vision. Twinkle/
lights illuminate.

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Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #17: Slice of Life Mash-Up: CSI

For the last three years, I've intentionally spent time writing and sharing a Haiku-A-Day for the month of December. The first two years I exchanged a daily Haiku privately with willing friends, mostly through text and email. Last year I wrote and shared each Haiku on my blog. Throughout this process, I've discovered that the practice of noticing and reflecting through writing a Haiku grounds me, provides with with a certain kind of peace, assists me with better practicing gratitude, and helps me better navigate this "hurry up" world. This year my goal is the same as last year: to pen and publish a daily Haiku on my blog throughout December. 

Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #17
Slice of Life Mash-Up: 

CSI

As a co-leader of my daughter's Girl Scout troop, I've been able to participate in some amazing experiences. This past Saturday was no exception. We visited Fox Valley Technical College's Public Safety Training Center where our girls earned their Special Agent Badge and explored careers in law enforcement and STEM. My daughter learned about fingerprints, DNA, the roles and responsibilities of law enforcement, and crime scene work. 

We also got to visit the impressive village within the Public Safety Training Center, complete with an airplane, hotel/bar, bank, gas station, and two houses. In one of the houses there was even a simulated meth lab and hidden rooms in the basement. 

Mind blown. I couldn't believe how detailed and sophisticated this is. 

Although this was a visit geared at middle and high school students, I'm certain that I learned just as much as my daughter. Overall, this leaves me with a deeper appreciation for the different levels within our local law enforcement and public safety. Our community is so fortunate to have a facility such as this. 

Exploring science/

through real experiences-/

lasting impression.

Lifting fingerprints,/

sketching crime scenes can inspire/

curiosity. 

Dusting for fingerprints

We lifted hand prints!

A hidden room inside of one of the homes of the safety village.

Sketching out a crime scene

Although this Saturday was a busy day, I am so grateful that my daughter and I got to experience this. 

****

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Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #10 Slice of Life Mash-Up: New Stitches

For the last three years, I've intentionally spent time writing and sharing a Haiku-A-Day for the month of December. The first two years I exchanged a daily Haiku privately with willing friends, mostly through text and email. Last year I wrote and shared each Haiku on my blog. Throughout this process, I've discovered that the practice of noticing and reflecting through writing a Haiku grounds me, provides with with a certain kind of peace, assists me with better practicing gratitude, and helps me better navigate this "hurry up" world. This year my goal is the same as last year: to pen and publish a daily Haiku on my blog throughout December. 

Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #10
Slice of Life Mash-Up: 

New Stitches

"Oh! Look at the progress you have made!" Ellen, my longtime friend, exclaimed, fingering the stitches on a blanket I recently started. 

The single stitch blanket I am currently working on.

"Well, I have had a good teacher," I responded, thinking about how far I had come since I learned from Ellen in October. 

"Now it's time to learn a double stitch. Let's get you started." 

I gulped. I was just feeling comfortable with a single crochet stitch. Could I move beyond this?

"Just watch. Then try. I'll be here to help."

I began my slip stitch and moved onto chain a row of stitches. Hesitant, I began my first double stitch.

Within the first few minutes, I had to pull out and redo several double stitches, but eventually I got it.

Time to move beyond/

Watch. Listen. Watch again. Try/

Stumbling through new.  

My first attempt at double crochet.

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Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #3 Slice of Life Mash-Up: Three Daily Pages

For the last three years, I've intentionally spent time writing and sharing a Haiku-A-Day for the month of December. The first two years I exchanged a daily Haiku privately with willing friends, mostly through text and email. Last year I wrote and shared each Haiku on my blog. Throughout this process, I've discovered that the practice of noticing and reflecting through writing a Haiku grounds me, provides with with a certain kind of peace, assists me with better practicing gratitude, and helps me better navigate this "hurry up" world. This year my goal is the same as last year: to pen and publish a daily Haiku on my blog throughout December. 

Haiku-A-Day December Challenge #3
Slice of Life Mash-Up: 

Three Daily Pages

Several years ago I began carving out specific, daily time to write. Not just to complete a paper for graduate school or to write an example to use for teaching. This writing was only for me. I set a goal for myself to write three daily pages in my notebook. 

This summer I dug through some of my past writing notebooks. As I reread pages, I noticed patterns of my behavior and reactions to events. I marveled at how I grew as a writer and as a human. I generated new questions about myself. In retrospect, circling back to my writing gave me clarity about some difficult decisions I faced. 

I began writing in this notebook (see below) in early October. I'm approaching the last few pages, so I am excited to begin a fresh notebook soon. Ultimately, I'm grateful I got into a daily writing habit. I try to remember how my writing has helped me grow whenever I don't feel "in the mood" to write. 

Three daily pages - /

my ongoing writing goal./ 

Nearly full notebook.

Daily writing remains my goal, my fuel for growing.

**********

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Tuesday Slice of Life: Ice

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Slice of Life: Ice

Recently, I was combing through some old notebooks from last year, searching for seed ideas for a blog post. I came upon a piece of a slice I began last winter about ice but never finished or published. Last year's winter was harsh, and at the time I was consciously trying to write about anything positive to get me through that long season. 

So below is a slice I began last winter and finished early this morning. 

Today's slice involves emulating a fun mentor text from Neil Pasricha's popular Book of Awesome and blog 1000 Awesome Things. I used the same format to write about wordless dog greetings in a past Slice of Life Challenge in this post. 

Ice

Sure, icy sidewalks are a constant for us in Wisconsin. Ice can be challenging to take care of and especially dangerous to the elderly. 

But there's just something so satisfying about the sound of ice cracking beneath your feet on the sidewalk. 

Pop! 

Crash! 

Crackle! 

Crunch! 

Awesome! 

(photo from: here)

In case you're wondering, we don't have much ice on the ground...yet. But the forecast calls for an upcoming winter storm, just in time for Thanksgiving travel! 

Tuesday Slice of Life: Remember This for Next Year

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Tuesday Slice of Life: 
Remember This for Next Year

"Remember this for next year," My colleague, Krista, wisely reminded me. I had just shared - for at least the twentieth time - how I have struggled with a group of high school students this year. 

Although this is not my first year teaching in an alternative education setting at my high school, two of my courses have been especially challenging to instruct this year, both through a behavioral and academic lens. 

This year I have used as many trust-building activities as possible, including circles and get-to-know-you activities. I have explicitly modeled my thinking through think-alouds and the document camera. I have worked hard to establish predictable routines. I have reached out to available instructional coaches in the district. I have read and reread professional books and articles about engagement and classroom management and literacy. 

Yet, as a seasoned teacher of nearly twenty years, I am still struggling in so many ways:

• I have struggled to build positive teacher - student relationships. 
• I have struggled to help my students build positive student - student relationships. 
• I have struggled in keeping up with and adjusting instructional planning.
• I have struggled to demonstrate student growth in literacy. 
• I have struggled with matching books with students and encouraging them to read. 
• I have struggled to know where to begin when my students have so many different significant needs.

At home, I consistently write and reflect on my teaching. I ask myself questions, notice patterns, record what I am wondering about. Through my writing, I only recently realized that my students seem to trust me a little bit more then they did at the beginning of the year. In fact, they seem to trust each other more. It makes me feel good that I am beginning to see them take risks as learners more often. 

It's November. Although I have seen growth in students taking risks as learners and displaying more positive behaviors as readers and learners and classmates, I continue to do a lot of kid-watching and listening. I continue to adjust my instruction and trying new things. I continue to work on building positive relationships. I continue to try new things. 

Krista is right. I need to remember this for next year for my planning and my overall expectations - it takes a while to build trust, especially with students who have not yet found success at school.  

Thank you, Krista. 

Tuesday Slice of Life: October Snow

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Tuesday Slice of Life: 
October Snow

October surprise.

White clings to leafy branches.

Apple peers through snow.

Tuesday Slice of Life: Without WiFi

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Tuesday Slice of Life: 
Without WiFi

I recently moved to a new place. If you haven't moved in a while, you may not remember how stressful moving can be. Furthermore, moving is also incredibly expensive and time-consuming. Needless to say, I don't want to move again any time soon, especially at the beginning of the school year.

In the last month, one of the things that has been the most eye-opening for me was life without WiFi/home access to the Internet. When I moved, I had to make so many decisions and set up essential services, like utilities, coordinating moving schedules, etc. I did not have a lot of time to sit on the phone with representatives trying to sell me all kinds of services I did not need. Truthfully, I was overwhelmed with what kind of Internet service I wanted and from which provider. Oh yeah, and scheduling a time to sit for a four hour window that wasn't during the school day? This proved challenging and frustrating. I couldn't take off of work just for an Internet installation. 

In the end, by the time I got everything scheduled, it took a little over a week to get my home Internet installed. Fortunately, in the meantime, I could use my cell phone's data and access the Internet at work, so I didn't completely "go dark". 

Going without WiFi for only one week provided me a glimpse of what it's probably like for my students and their families who have unreliable WiFi or no WiFi - including those families who move frequently or who just cannot afford it. Currently, one of my children is in middle school. Most of his homework is delivered via a digital platform. He has a Chromebook assigned to him for the school year through our local school district, but without WiFi at home, he couldn't use it when he was at home. This meant that anything he didn't finish in class he had to do before or after school, or I needed to take him to a location with WiFi. As a parent, I also couldn't easily check his grades. Checking the online learning platforms on cell phones can be accomplished, but it takes longer AND it is more challenging to navigate. Talk about frustrating. 

In the school district I teach in, we are 1:1 (one device per student) at the high school level. Before this year, I always assumed that the device itself was adequate enough for students to accomplish work assigned online. I thought, what else did they really need to get their work done? Since I have had Internet access at home for most of my teaching career, I haven't had to imagine life without Internet access. 

In consequence, this was the first year I discreetly polled my students and asked who had Internet access at home and who did not. I assumed most did, with maybe one or two students who did not. However, I was surprised at the number of students who didn't. Out of 90 of my seniors, approximately one fourth of them reported that they do not have Internet access at home (and are limited to using a cell phone only). Wow. 

In the past, I have asked my students to accomplish a lot of work online. I've always given them time in class, but I have not thought twice about students finishing work at home if they ran out of time. Yet, after living without home access to WiFi for a week, it makes me question some of my practices, including how much time I allot in class for my students to finish their work that requires Internet and how many of my students have access to reliable Internet at home.   

This was just one week without WiFi. 

Tuesday Slice of Life: I get to...

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Tuesday Slice of Life: 
I get to...

At one of our staff meetings last year one of our high school principals, Dr. Mineau, mentioned the power of this phrase, "I get to..." Dr. Mineau was referring to our mindset in how we approach situations. The idea is to replace the phrase "I have to..." with "I get to." For example, instead of "I have to be at Open House this week" you could say, "I get to meet some of my students and their parents." The second sentence sounds much more positive, doesn't it? 

For a while, I have been trying to focus on what is positive in my life instead of dwelling on the negative, especially on the factors I have little to no control over. According to author Kendra Cherry in "Benefits of Positive Thinking for Body and Mind," positive thinkers can cope better with stress, have improved immunity, can be more resilient, and can have positive impacts on overall health. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I could use all of those benefits! 

I have been trying to apply this approach to my personal life all summer, consistently applying the "I get to" phrase when I can. Honestly, I have dealt with some tough things lately, and while the "I get to" phrase has not taken away what's messy and painful, it has helped me shift some of my perspectives so I can manage in a healthier way. Ultimately, this has helped me show up as a more decent human being.

Today I get to begin a new school year. I get to work with amazing colleagues. I get to work with some fantastic students. I get to keep learning with and from my students. I get to be a part of making a positive difference for kids. I get to reflect about each day in my writers notebook. I get to see students make progress.  

What do you get to do in your life? In your profession? At home? 

Slice of Life Tuesday: Ukulele Journey

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Tuesday Slice of Life: 

Ukulele Journey

I was recently paging through my writer's notebook and found this list poem I wrote some time last spring, reflecting on my journey of learning to play the ukulele. (If I remember correctly, I believe that I was reading through Poems Are Teachers at the time, and so this list poem was likely inspired by the smart work of Amy Ludwig VanDerwater.) 

Ukulele Wishes 

I wish I could

     remember strumming patterns
     effortlessly switch from chord D to Em,
     play tablature in tune 
     feel the rhythm of quarter, half, and whole notes
     read notes instead of looking at my fingers
     sing and strum 
     not fret so much about mistakes and 
     enjoy my music journey. 

****

A little over a week ago my thirteen-year-old son and I attended an outdoor ukulele workshop through our city's Mile of Music Festival. Although I played quite a bit last spring and took a few group lessons, I had not played my ukulele since the beginning of June. I was rusty. My uke was out of tune. In fact, it was so out of tune that I needed to ask my son in order to get my ukulele back in playing shape. 

As soon as my ukulele was in tune and my fingers found some familiar chords, I was instantly reminded how much I enjoy making music. My fingers immediately gravitated to the C and G7 chords - I still had some muscle memory in my fingers. 

Since the short workshop, I have been playing each day and I am beginning to enjoy it again. Now I can play Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" and "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers. To my amazement, my son recently remarked that he actually recognizes these tunes when I play! Win!

It feels good. I need to keep spending the time to make music.  

Tuesday Slice of Life: That Time I Met KWR

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Tuesday Slice of Life: That Time I Met KWR

"I didn't realize Lester Laminack was speaking at this luncheon. Is there any way I can still buy a ticket?" 

Last month I was a newbie at NCTE's WLU Summer Institute in Columbia, South Carolina. In trying to save money, initially I did not sign up for the luncheon. Apparently I did not close-read the information on the WLU website and did not realize that beloved author Lester Laminack was the keynote speaker. Every person I had newly met at the conference was attending. 

The NCTE representative gently responded to my question, "It's a plated dinner, so it is not as simple as just charging you. Tell you what, if you just hang out until the luncheon officially begins, I will sneak you in if there is an open seat."

I nodded and thanked her. From the hotel hallway, I watched as conference participants streamed in, eager to secure spots by friends. A local elementary school from Irmo, South Carolina (The Oak Pointe Bucket Band) warmed the crowd with a lively bucket band performance. 

Just when I thought that I would be dining alone at the hotel restaurant, I heard, "You're in luck. We have some no-shows, so you can attend the luncheon. Just quietly find an empty seat and enjoy." 

"Thank you SO much!" Giddy, I scanned the room to find an empty seat and ventured towards a back table with one open chair. It happened to be next to Dr. Lenny Sanchez, a professor at U of SC and a colleague of my friend Cathy. 

"Is this seat taken?" I inquired.

"Nope, please sit!" Lenny grinned and I sat beside him.

To the right of me sat a thin woman with tight, curly hair. "I'm Trina," I quickly introduced myself. 

The woman held out her hand to shake mine, "Katie." Bucket band still playing, I glanced at her name tag to be certain I heard her name correctly. In a quick glance I peered at her name tag: Katie Wood Ray.

I froze. Katie Wood Ray? I sat next to the Katie Wood Ray, author and editor extraordinaire?  

"Oh. My. God. You're Katie Wood Ray?"

"Yes." She smiled.

Like a teenager upon seeing Justin Bieber, I gushed to Katie about how I loved all her books, how they changed me as a writer and a teacher of writers. And it would have been fine if I ended the conversation here. 

Mouth moving at warp speed, tangled in my Wisconsin accent, I went on to tell her that I loved writing so much, even pulling out and showing my latest journal, as somehow proving to her that I was writing. Yup, I was that girl. 

There are so many other ways that this conversation could have gone, but I was socially awkward. I offered stupid comments. I asked silly questions. I fumbled up my words. I did not really show up as myself.

Thank goodness Lester Laminack began his keynote SO I could keep my mouth shut and listen.

The WLU Summer Institute is a small, intimate conference. After the luncheon, of course I kept running into Katie: in the bathroom, in the hallway between sessions, in the hotel lobby. Each time I found myself inarticulate.

Through it all, Katie Wood Ray was gracious.

Until I wrote about it later in my notebook, I didn't realize how nervous I was to meet her. Then, in horror, I realized how desperate I was to sound intelligent and interesting - the kind of person Katie would want to know. It's not usually the person I show up as. 

Sigh. 

It has now been a few weeks since the WLU Summer Institute. I can now think about this conversation and laugh at myself a bit. After all, I was a bit starstruck at meeting the great Katie Wood Ray. 

In retrospect, I am reminded that we all say and do stupid, awkward things sometimes. In our personal lives. As teachers. As humans. We all do this. For me, this was a great reminder that awkward conversations (or in my case, a SERIES of awkward conversations) happen, and it's just a slice in our lives - not a reflection of who we are as whole people. 

**************

To read past posts about how I have been influenced by Katie Wood Ray's work, you can read here and here. Even if you are a teacher of high school or middle school students, Katie Wood Ray's work is brilliant, still applicable to older learners. Her work will inspire you to serve your students better.