For so long I found myself searching for some sort of external validation, just like Ms. McDowell wrote about, in hopes of some support and of bit of loving attention. In reality, I was struggling with some tough personal things. While swimming through the mess, I found that I didn't trust myself. I didn't have the right supports in place I needed. I didn't love myself. In turn, I have recently realized that searching for external validation just made me ache more.
I'm slowly learning that I don't need external validation. I need to listen to myself. I need to love myself. I need to trust myself. I need to keep writing, reflecting. I need to keep talking to professionals. I need to be kind and gentle with myself.
Friends, this is not easy work.
Ms. McDowell's suggestion to text a beautiful message to myself makes so much sense. I realized that it is another thing that I can do, especially when I am in need.
Today I'm thankful she put these words out in the world. In response, I wrote the double Haiku below:
Texts, emails sent for-/
increased my heartache.
for radical, loving change.
Gentle, kind message.