Bookends

Bookends

I started blogging about a month ago for mainly three reasons:

1. To reflect and make better sense of my teaching and learning as I instruct high school learners
2. To push myself more as a writer (especially in sharing my writing with a broader audience)
3. As a tool to show my students that I am a teacher who writes (and as a place to perhaps showcase some of their writing and their ideas)

I am not going to lie. Each time I press that "publish" button on Blogger I find my chest tighten and my breath catch. It's still as scary as when I wrote my first post. Yet, I recognize that the act of writing posts not only strengthens my writing skills but also reminds me of the high level of empathy I need to have when I ask students to share their writing. After all, writing is personal, sometimes exposing vulnerability. And so, I am committed to continue to write posts this school year.

This morning I found myself reflecting about the last few months. I realized that this summer our family didn’t take any big trips or even leave the state. Instead, our family spent more time at home than we ever have before. We took daily walks around our neighborhood, played in the backyard with our puppy, or found new local places to explore. My kids convinced me to stop for ice cream more than I should admit. We also stopped at our public library at least once a week, sometimes twice. In addition, I made sure that I carved out some time for myself to write and read every day.

I simply slowed down, and my kids did as well.

Besides writing Morning Pages, I typically ended each day with writing a list of what I was grateful for. I almost always wrote about small moments from that day, but more often than not, I wrote about how I was grateful for the time that I spend reading with my kids. With the exception of maybe five nights this whole summer (when I was gone for an educational conference), I curled up with my children, either on our couch or in my bed and we read together, usually for an hour or more. This was my favorite routine with my children, one that we have the luxury to do more (and for longer chunks at a time) in the summer. Although I wrote this free verse poem over a year ago and was thinking about a time when my children were a bit younger, it still represents a daily routine that I find myself the most grateful for:

“Bookends”

by Trina Haase

Sandwiched between two cherubs in footed pajamas-

Wisps of damp watermelon-scented locks

Brush against my right forearm while

A dim lamp light streams over our threadbare couch, and

I sit for the first time today.   

The three of us snuggle-  

Legs nestled beneath a thin,

Hand-stitched and patiently pieced

Quilt of browns, blues, and rust-colored flying geese.

Books rest on my lap-

tattered copies of

Dragons Beware,

Chi’s Sweet Home,

And volumes of Calvin and Hobbes-

Continually swapped between two siblings.

Alaina clutches MoMo- stuffing nearly formless and flat-

And nuzzles this limp pink monkey arm in a circular motion on her cheek.

I observe her study each page

And every so often her smooth lips form words

As if she’s sharing a delicious secret.

A squeal pierces the silence and I hear,

“Mommayouneedtoreadthis!”

Isaac lunges over my lap,

Knocking The How of Happiness from my hands,

Pages smash to the floor-

Its spine stares at me.

Giggles erupt.  

Surprised, Hurley sharply barks in protest of an unexpected crash-

Then sharply circles twice before positioning himself

In a tight ball against gray stone.

Our lively house quiets again,   

With the occasional hum of an outside car whirring by, a few pages turning,

And rhythmic ticks from the wall clock.

Calm envelops me as

Warm bodies lean into mine: my two bookends.  

My two "bookends"