The Energy to Teach

Confession: the last two weeks of teaching have not been my finest. One of the worst days was when one of senior high school students was disrespectful to his classmates and me. When I tried to gently address this with him, he announced yelled to the whole class, “I hate this class! I wanted Ms. ________ and instead I got you! This sucks!” He walked out of my classroom before I could say much more. Meanwhile, I heard another student say under her breath, “Senior year is supposed to be fun. Can’t she loosen up?” Defeated, I observed the rest of my students. Prior to his outburst, I had been individually conferring with students on a piece of writing. As I scanned the room, I noticed that many of my students were doing anything but working on writing - they were on their cell phones (not as an academic resource, as I had requested, but probably Snapchatting or texting), and one student was intensely applying her make up instead of writing. That morning I left class feeling so frustrated, wondering, why did I leave my position as a literacy coach for this?

These student comments and my observations hung heavy on my heart all day.

That night, as I wrote in my notebook, listing as much as I could remember, especially about that class hour. Although writing about a challenging event often makes me feel better and provides me with a better perspective, this time I felt worse, my inner critic loud and harsh. In an effort to try to focus on what's been positive in my teaching, I made a list of what I felt like I have been doing right in this classroom so far, and it looked a little like this:

• I’ve been writing with and in front of my students every day.
• I’ve been providing them time each day for independent reading and time for writing.
• Students have choice in what they are reading and writing.
• I have been individually conferring with students in both reading and writing.
• Most days I have provided a daily agenda and specific learning targets.
• I’m giving and getting feedback from my students each day.
• Students have many opportunities to talk with each other in partnerships and in small groups.
• I encourage students to write about what is meaningful to them.

I knew that I was applying best practices in teaching, all that could be backed by research, but I couldn’t help but wonder, what was I doing wrong? So many of my seniors acted like they just didn’t care about learning anything. True, I wasn’t the beloved teacher that many of them wanted for their teacher, but I couldn’t change that. They couldn’t do much about it either.  

As I wrote, I thought back to a teacher (I'll call her Ms. Smith) whom I had been working with in a coaching capacity a few years earlier. Just like me, Ms. Smith was frustrated with her students after a challenging lesson. She didn’t know what to do next or how she could possibly teach them. My first impulse was to give Ms. Smith a long list of things that she could try with her students, but I knew that listing off what I knew probably wouldn't help her grow, or worse, it could backfire. In fear of saying the wrong thing to Ms. Smith (and risk ruining the coaching relationship that I had worked so hard to establish), I reached out via email to respected instructional coach and staff developer, Samantha Bennett, who I had recently seen speak at our state’s annual reading convention. Sam quickly responded to my dilemma and shared what she learned from Don Graves, particularly from his book The Energy to Teach (Heinemann, 2001). Sam wondered what the outcome would be if we approached that day as an inquiry and created a chart focusing on a few students and answering these questions:

1. What do you know about this student as a person?
2. What do you know about this student as a learner?
3. What does this student know you know?
4. Knowing this, what are your next steps?

Since I had (and still have) such a high level of professional respect for Sam, of course I dove into her query. As I worked with Ms. Smith the following day, we created and completed a chart answering these questions. As she and I filled out this chart together, it filled me with empathy for many of her students. In addition, it reminded us both how students often act when they feel threatened (and don’t want to look stupid). Later, Ms. Smith reported that she changed her approach in how she spoke with students and her interactions with them. This change made a huge difference for Ms. Smith and her students, not just the next day or week, but for the rest of the year.

In thinking about how I coached (and learned) with Ms. Smith I realized that perhaps I could benefit from participating in the same inquiry. So I created a chart in my notebook, focusing on the students who seemed to be the most outspoken and resistant to learning in my class. As I was filling out my chart, it hit me. Although I knew some things about my students, it was not enough. I could respond better to their needs if I knew more about each of them as people and as learners.

I pondered my next steps and decided that I could invite students to tell me more about themselves as learners and individuals, so I created a survey using Google Forms. Although I knew it would be probably be better to ask each student in person, this survey would at least be a starting point. A few of the questions I asked students are listed below, including what do you want me to know about you as a person and what do you want me to know about you as a learner:

A screenshot from part of my survey

Many of my students' answers surprised me. I learned more about my students than I thought I would from this survey (and most of their responses were things that I couldn’t tell from looking at their past grades or standardized scores). A few of their responses included:

• “I have never been a good writer.”
• “I have a lot of anxiety about school, and I wish more teachers were more understanding about my mental health.”
• “I struggle to keep my focus.”
• “I work two jobs and don’t get home until 11 on most nights.”
• “English is my hardest class. I’ve never been a good reader.”
• “My parents just got divorced, and it’s hard. I’m sorry if I am sometimes moody.”
• “I need more examples of what to do because I don’t know what you want.”
• "I'm worried I won't graduate if I don't pass this class."

The next two days I spent following up with students whose comments I didn’t understand or wanted to comprehend better. One of my students wrote, “I wish I knew what your adjective was.” I was so perplexed when I read her comment, but as I spoke with her, I quickly realized that she meant objective, not adjective. And of course, many of the conversations I had with students were hard. One student asked me if I could just hand out a packet of work (like he was used to in other classes). Another student told me that she was afraid that I was going to teach one thing and expect another when it came to grades (ah, the “gotcha” grade). In response to using an assigned seating chart, a few students inquired why I didn’t treat them more like adults and let them sit where they want. A different student told me that he didn’t understand why I needed to meet with students so much because he didn’t feel that he needed to work on his writing - finishing the draft was enough. Finally, a few of my students told me that they didn't care that they could read or write well because they weren't planning to go to college. They just wanted to graduate from high school.

Sigh.

Overall, I am glad that I made the time for students to provide me with more feedback. I learned more about many of them and I realized that I could tweak a few things in my instruction. In listening and talking with my students, it became apparent that I need to write my learning targets in a more student-friendly manner and involve my students more often in identifying how they are meeting each learning target. I also need to continue to make time to listen to my students, even if some of the feedback is uncomfortable to read and hear.

Each day I am humbled at the complexity of teaching and all that I still need to learn in order to serve my students more effectively.